As we grow older, we want to leave something behind us. Something to remember us by.
(all songs based or inspired by Vysotsky's songs)
On Friendship
True, unconditional friendship is irrational. Afterall, why should you take the proverbial bullet for someone else? With family, one could make an evolutionary argument, but sacrificing your wellbeing for someone unrelated to you doesn’t seem to make sense. However, there’s something noble about knowing that someone will have your back, no matter what.
For some reason, the concept of true friendship never really seems to have taken root in the U.S. We care more about family, country, etc. Yet, in the Soviet Union, the concept of true friendship materialized out of necessity. Perhaps, at a time when the government actively encouraged others to spy on each other and turn each other in, including your own family members, people needed to have someone they could fully trust. Deciding who to trust could literally be a matter of life and death, or the difference between freedom and imprisonment. As a result, friendship became, arguably, even more important than family. After all, you needed something thicker than blood to make sure you didn’t end up in the Gulag for saying the wrong thing.
As we hurl headfirst into tomorrow, I fear that the concept of true friendship is fading. I don’t know if by the time you read this, the concept of true friendship will even exist. Maybe, in the not so distant future, we’ll all be entering into purely transactional relationships and keeping everyone at an arm’s length. But, I want you to know that once upon a time it did exist. Friendship that defies all logic. Friendship where you know as sure as the sun will rise that your friends would be there for you. Friendship where you could call up someone in the middle of the night and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they’ll bail you out of jail. Friendship where you can sit in complete silence with someone without any awkwardness. Friendship that exists for no other reason than two people choosing to believe in it and will it into existence.
A friendship like that is, of course, hard to come by. If you find a friend like that, treasure them above all else, because a true friend is more valuable than power, money, or even life itself! Look beyond their faults. Move heaven and earth to help them. However, if at any time they betray you, do not forgive them, for betrayal is like the first symptoms of an incurable disease. A person who puts their interests above your own once, is bound to do it again.
On Meaning
"Life is a journey from innocence to experience," I once heard someone say. As we grow older, ...
Book: Middlemarch by George Eliot
On Balance
Balance is impossible. It is a constant struggle and each misstep can be fatal. Become too preoccupied in work, and you'll neglect your family, the most important thing in life. Spend too much time at home, and you'll never discover your true potential or make a difference. Forego physical activity and exercise, and you may ruin your health, but focus too much on that, and you'll have little time for much else. Miss visiting your parents or seeing your friends, and you'll miss living, but live life too much and you risk ending up destitute. Like a tightrope walker, we are always leaning too far too one side, trying to adjust before it is too late. Yet, adjust we must.
We meet many different peoples in our lives. Their excesses are often easy to stop. This one works too hard, but he barely knows his children. This one doesn't take care of their health. But, our own excesses are much harder to spot. I won't tell you what the right balance in life is because I don't know. There are too many important things and who knows what the right balance is between them all.
However, there are some things more worth doing than others. I'll probably never make it as a song writer, but there's a big difference between that and playing video games every day. Our small business may never be as successful as I'd like, but I grow so much more from it than from binging on Netflix. And, of course, all the while, I'll be the best father, husband, friend that I can be.
On Addiction
On Life, Death, and Time
“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…” (Hamlet)
To the concept of Death, I am still a stranger. I have not shaken hands with him, but I have seen his shadow. I fear I do not understand him yet. Nor do I understand Death's faithful servant, Time. The two are as elusive as water running in a stream.
What is it we fear of death? Is it the process? The last breaths we take, as we feel life slipping away from us? Come to think of it, along with birth, death is humanity’s most shared experience. I wonder, do we all have the same thoughts in our last moments? A flashback of our lives, of our “rosebud?” Or, are the last thoughts as varied as the people themselves?
Or, do we fear most the countdown? The dim sound of Death’s footsteps as he draws inevitably nearer, until he is knocking on our door. Can we refuse? No, we must welcome him in as an old friend.
Or, perhaps, we are most afraid of not having lived at all? Of on our deathbeds exclaiming, “Oh, but what could have been!” Of realizing we had been wasteful with the time we have been given. Of wanting just another month, a week, a day back. Of regretting spending too much time at work and not enough time with our loved ones. Of not taking more chances. Of letting life slip away.
The days are passing so fast sometimes it feels like we are living inside of a memory before it has even materialized. And so, we try to slow it down. But, time is a fickle mistress indeed. You try to make every moment count, be as productive as possible, but time just flies faster. As Mary Ann Evans pointed out, “for time, like money, is measured by our needs." You try to slow it down, take the time to appreciate the little things and embrace the monotony of life, the long walks in the park, the peaceful evenings by the fire. And, yet, it still ruthlessly marches on.
To my descendants: live a balanced life. We must take both the back roads and the highways during our lives. Spend too much time on the former, and we’ll never arrive at our destination, but spend too long on the latter and we’ll get there too soon. But, stay away from the bad things in life. From the things that devour time with almost nothing show for it in return. The computer games that can eat away years of your life or the drugs where you lose the concept of time entirely. Be careful of depending too much on technology, for nothing makes time fly faster than constant stimulation of the mind. As boring and monotonous as life can be, it is a necessary part of living and the best memories are formed during the those times.
Books: Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann
Poems: Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas
On America
On Depression
On Power & Corruption
“Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." - Lord Acton
We are all tyrants. After all, if given the opportunity, how many of us would not take God’s place? Can anyone of us truly say they’d be able to resist, if only given the opportunity?
It is only by knowing this that we can resist and suppress our basest impulses. Assume that you are always on the verge of abusing your authority and you will not be far off from the truth. If you feel the carnivorous head of spite and hatred rearing its head from the depth of your soul, check yourself, for you are likely treading in precarious waters. Seldom do good deeds arise from a black heart, just as seldom as flowers grow in the darkest caverns. But, if you are pure of heart, trust your intuitions full heartedly, for you will not be led astray! After all, it is the head that tries to deceive, not the stomach. We can find a way to justify almost any action if it is in our interest to do so. Yet, a foul deed, even if dressed in princely clothing, will continuously haunt our thoughts. It will, like a mythological sea monster, stretch out its tentacles, groping every part of our mind, demanding further justification for its existence. However, a lie won’t fool our stomachs, the simplest of organs. Our stomach will immediately start to churn when we are in the wrong, no matter how many times the mind will try to coax it into believing otherwise. The mind is susceptible to fancy words and flowery speeches, but the stomach is a simple peasant dressed in overalls, pounding at the table and yelling, “Right is right, and wrong is wrong!”
Power is harder to kick than cigarettes, more pungent than the most powerful aphrodisiac, and more euphoric than cocaine. Even those who’ve never had as much as a taste of it are still drawn to it. Yet, power is more corrosive than acid, quickly consuming anyone who comes into too much contact with it. Of course, being drawn to power is only natural. Over the course of humanity, power, if we define it as the ability to control events, has often been the difference between life and death. So, it is no wonder that the attraction to power is deeply wedged into our subconscious. Yet, far too often we confuse power with success or meaning. What is success? In Russia, there is believed to live a woman who had 69 children in the early 18th century. From an evolutionary perspective, she is more successful than almost any king of that time period, yet it seems primitive to evaluate success based on the number of offspring. If success is measured by the accumulation of money, how can money, which can only be enjoyed during a lifetime, compare to that of having many descendants? Even if the goal is to pass on wealth, studies consistently show that wealth is often squandered within a couple of generations, so accumulating wealth for future generations seems a risk business. So, then, what should we live for? If not for evolutionary reasons or material gains, then is it to enjoy it to the fullest? The problem is that life, for many, is not a joy. And, for all of us, sooner or later, it slowly stops being a joy, as our health and the health of our loved ones catches up with us. As a result, there is but one philosophy to live and evaluate life by. Life is suffering, and the purpose of life is to alleviate unnecessary suffering. It is the only philosophy that doesn’t collapse under its own weight, and the only one that can deliver true meaning.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that power is meaningless, far from it. Those who wield power responsibility have a much greater capacity to alleviate suffering, even if they rarely utilize that power. As such, perhaps the greatest challenge is the striking of that balance, or, in other words, to be strong and good. It is a rare combination indeed, but one worth aspiring to. To my descendants, aim to be the best you can be because, when the wolf is at the door, you’ll want to make sure you are prepared, but never forget that unless you are using your position to protect the oppressed, help the weak, and fight for truth, you are living a hollow and shallow life.
On Individualism
"Courage is grace is under pressure." - Ernest Hemingway
TBD
On Suffering
The Hemingwayan protagonist is competent, but does not brag. He never lies, if he stands to benefit from lying. He never pities himself. He remains calm under pressure, weather it is in the heat of battle or in the heat of an argument.
The “man of wealth and taste" appreciates the finer things in life, and can casually expound upon the best vacations spots, the juiciest steaks, or the fastest cars. He brags about his accomplishments, subtly or overtly, and strives to be in a position of power and authority.
The former definition is inherent to the self, while the latter is attributable to the environment. The Hemingwayan protagonist's traits are inseverable from the individual, whereas the "the man of wealth and taste" derives his status from society. Yet, how do you become the former and avoid becoming the latter? After all, you cannot simply say, “From here on out, I’ll be graceful under pressure." To truly become decisive, competent, and courageous, you must experience situations from which those traits will organically grow. For example, you are infinitely more likely to be graceful under pressure in a boxing ring if you’ve been in the ring before. As a result, individualism is intrinsically linked with overcoming hardship and adversity, and why any person who subscribes to this definition must continually look for new challenges to overcome, lest he risk growing stale in the cocoon of luxury.
As time passes, I fear that there are less opportunities for these experiences that forge individuals. They are becoming harder to come by and we have to traverse greater distances to find it on our own. However, those opportunities are out there, and we must seek them out.
Books: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway